What I Learned in Therapy

K66-6: Hey, welcome back to what
I learned in therapy with me.

Jamie Lang.

Today, we're going to dive into a.

Deep topic, deep phenomenon.

In our life and it is
the concept of truth.

In fact, this concept is shaped.

Human existence.

I think.

And I'm not really sure what it is.

This thing that is shaped.

Human reality.

Uh, so.

K66-9: I thought it'd be a great topic
today because today is January 20th, 2025.

And it is the day that we honor.

Dr.

Martin Luther king Jr.

K66-6: Today's also an inauguration day.

And I don't want to spend
too much time giving it.

Much attention.

But it is a day where
truth is being weaponized.

In ways I.

Never could have considered.

And so we're going to
talk about truth today.

And different ways of thinking about it.

But before we do that, I want to
remind you that I am a licensed

clinical professional counselor.

I am a registered 500 hour yoga teacher.

I have an additional master's
degree in communication and gender.

I have a private practice called
humble warrior counseling.

And it lives inside the vault and
the vault is a healing center.

There's also a small
yoga studio in the vault.

Where I do retreats and gatherings
for people who want to combine

the body and their spiritual
practice with their mental health.

This is the trifecta of.

Radical healing.

In fact, I just had a
retreat last weekend.

Where we talked about a Hamza nonviolence.

And Satya, which is truthfulness.

It was one of the most.

Eyeopening and loving experiences
I've had here at the vault.

So.

If you're listening out there,
ladies, thank you for showing up with

your love and disarming yourself.

So that our wounds could be present.

For kindness and compassion.

Thank you for changing my life.

I'm really excited because this week I'm
launching my digital course, integrative

healing, the synergy of psychotherapy,
yoga therapy, and mindful wisdom.

It's a full and complete course
studying the yamas and the

niyamas and yoga philosophy.

The yamas and niyamas are guidelines
for how we can live our best life.

And a life with less suffering.

K66-10: The course is designed by me.

And it is for healing.

It is for wisdom and it is for everyone.

If you're interested, go on over
to the website, it's located in

the show notes and check it out.

When you show up for the course, you're
going to learn lifelong skills and

lifelong tools to help you live a life.

Of less suffering.

So please go check it out.

K66-6: Truth.

Where to begin.

We grew up being handed
truth or quote unquote truth.

About our identities.

About our morality.

About history about American history.

Religion.

Schools.

And also really.

About the world around us, about how
things work or how things are supposed

to work, how systems work, et cetera.

Fact, most of us, whether we're
willing to admit it or not.

Begin to question, is
this truth actually, mine.

Does this truth, reflect who I am.

And who I want to become.

And then if the truth.

Does not align anymore or when the
truth starts to feel uncomfortable.

What happens then?

Do I.

Confront the truth.

Do I confront those who gave it to me?

And is it safe to do so?

And then that identity piece.

If I don't believe this thing anymore.

Who am I.

If I don't believe this thing that
my family believes or my church

believes, or my community believes.

Who am I.

When I used to teach at the
university at Boise state.

Freshmen would come in.

So certain of who they were.

Certain of their identities,
what they believe.

That their parents are right.

Et cetera.

And inevitably most of them, if not all.

About halfway through, start to look
at their classmates and say things

like I've never thought of it that way.

I've never met anybody.

Who's had your experience.

Or you're so different from me.

Tell me more.

And it's not that they walked
in with the wrong ideas.

Because I believe that ideas
are neither right or wrong.

There are some that are more helpful.

I'm more applicable.

It's mostly that they came in
with ideas that were small.

Ideas that were incomplete.

There is no story that is concrete.

There is no story that ends.

There is no idea that ends.

And watching them.

Begin to build compassion for themselves.

As they change because that's
exactly what they're supposed to do.

We don't have to abolish
our belief systems.

When we look at them.

Looking at our belief systems
and what feels true is an act of

compassion for self and for others.

Because we are always changing.

So checking in on how we are changing,
helps us live more congruently.

And an alignment.

With what is good.

For self and others.

So today we're going to talk about
how truth has been given to us.

How it is shaped by power structures.

And what it means to reclaim truth.

As a practice of personal integrity.

From the moment we are born,
our beliefs are inherited.

In fact, probably before we even
take our first breath, we are given.

Truth.

Babies in utero, start to learn the
truth of their external environment.

By the truth of the mothers
internal environment.

And that's of course
not to blame the mother.

But it's scientifically proven that babies
start to become aware of what's outside of

the womb while they're inside of the womb.

So imagine from the get.

Once your brain starts
forming ideas of truth.

Are also being formed.

We are conditioned to accept these truths.

Not because we have discovered them for
ourselves, but because they've been handed

down to us, not only in utero, but through
genetics and through generational trauma.

They're also handed to us from culture.

Like I said, religion, family
and institutions, these

inherited beliefs shaped the way.

We began to see the world the
way we experienced the world.

Often without our awareness.

Many of us grew up being taught who God is
before we have the capacity to understand

or question spirituality for ourselves.

We are given scriptures, rituals, jewelry,
and dogmas that define universal truths.

And are handed to us as universal truths.

And questioning.

Becomes an active resistance
or defiance rather than perhaps

just intellectual curiosity.

Many cultures.

Probably near you or around you.

Define religion as true.

Dictating, what is right?

What is wrong?

What is good?

What is bad?

What is sacred?

What is profane?

And who is saved and who is not.

The history we are taught in school
is a carefully curated narrative.

Focusing on the achievements
of those in power.

While simultaneously
distorting or minimizing.

Even erasing, suffering.

I oppression.

Murder.

Genocide.

Rape.

Death.

Our American history, glorifies the
founding fathers while downplaying

or admitting to the violence
of colonization and slavery.

Nationalism.

Is built on the historical myth
that we are exactly the same.

These myths serve to unify
people under one common identity.

Even if those narratives exclude
or oppress others, but we're not

supposed to have one common identity.

Because we are all very different.

We are also spoonfed that laws
are just that leaders act in our

best interest that democracy.

Insures fairness.

But history shows us repeatedly
that truth and justice are

determined by those in power.

From propaganda to censorship.

Governments across the world have used
quote unquote truth as a tool for control.

One of the most pervasive and I
think destructive, common truths.

In our country.

Is this idea that success.

Is a direct result.

Of hard work.

That you will succeed.

You will have wealth if
you work hard enough.

And if you don't succeed
and get that dream.

It's your fault.

It is a personal failing by you.

As an individual, rather
than the systemic inequality.

Built into the infrastructure in the DNA.

Of our country.

The American dream, for example.

It tells us if we just try
hard enough, we can achieve

wealth, happiness, and security.

We'll look around you.

I look at the people, you know,
that work their asses off.

Do they have wealth?

Do they have security?

Maybe it's you.

What about those born into
poverty, those born into cultures

that are not legitimising.

The reality is that success is
often determined by privilege.

It is often determined by access.

And opportunity.

Yeah, this myth persists to keep
individuals, people like you.

People like me striving within
a system that benefits a few.

These truths are reinforced through media
education, religion, family structures.

I could go on and I know
I'm being redundant.

But we are created by these truths.

Our identities are
created by these truths.

And we will not stop seeing ourselves and
others through these very small ideas.

Unless we begin to question
these roles and ask, who am I

beyond what I was told to be.

Because you see the challenge
with inherited truths is

that they feel absolute.

Many of us spend years living
under these beliefs only to

realize later and sometimes.

Only after much harm has been done.

That they do not align with who they are.

And that is where the
journey of knowing oneself.

So well.

Begins.

When we have the opportunity to
question what has been spoonfed to us.

The process of distinguishing
between truths.

We were spoonfed.

And truths, we must discover
and uncover for ourselves.

This is where knowing oneself begins.

For centuries?

Well, probably from the beginning of time.

The concept of truth has been debated.

Or sought after.

, and when I get stuck, I often turn.

To the philosophers who I studied,
who taught me how to think.

Many of the greatest thinkers
in history suffered greatly

for standing in their truth.

Socrates born four, seven,
eight BCE and died 3 99 BCE.

Believed that truth was not something
given, not something to be spoonfed.

It was something to be questioned
and uncovered over and over and over.

He developed what we now call the
Socratic method, which I use very

often in therapy with my clients.

The Socratic method.

Is a way of seeking truth
through relentless questioning.

He challenged politicians, poets,
and fellow Athenians asking them.

Whether they actually knew
what they claimed to know.

And for this, he was put on trial.

For corrupting the youth
and disrespecting the gods.

And his sentence.

Was death by hemlock.

He was offered an escape.

But he refused believing that
to abandon his principles would

be the real death of himself.

His final act was to prove that
truth requires courage and integrity,

even in the face of execution.

Frederick Nietzsche born
October 15th, 1844 and died.

August 25th, 1900.

Challenge the idea of absolute
truth, arguing that all truths

are created by those in power.

He called out the moral hypocrisy of
religious and political institutions.

Claiming that they use
truth as a means of control.

His ideas were so radical at the time he
was ridiculed, dismissed and rejected.

After his death, his ideas
were manipulated and misused,

particularly by the Nazi regime.

Distorting his true
philosophical intentions.

Gandhi.

Born October 2nd, 1869
died January 30th, 1948.

Redefined truth.

As not just factual.

But moral and ethical.

His philosophy of such a Gras.

Or truth force.

Was the foundation of his nonviolent
resistance against British colonial rule.

His commitment to truth, especially
his belief in the unity between Hindus

and Muslims led to his assassination
by a Hindu nationalist who believed

Gandhi's truth was a threat.

To India.

Malcolm X born May 19th,
1925 and died February 21st.

1965.

He was only 40 years old.

He was a relentless truth
teller about systemic racism,

oppression, and then necessity.

Uh, black self determination.

He challenged the narratives.

That change could only come
through patients and compliance.

Advocating instead for self-defense
economic empowerment and black liberation.

This led him from the nation of Islam
to a broader vision of global human

rights, challenging both American racism
and oppressive structures worldwide.

His assassination was a direct
response to the power of his truth.

His refusal to be silenced and his
insistence on dismantling white supremacy.

Michael Born October
15th, 1926 died June 25th.

1984.

Believed that truth is
shaped by those in authority.

He examined how medicine
prisons, education.

Create truths that justify their power.

He warned that those in
control decide what is true.

Not because it is right.

But because it benefits them.

His work.

Ironically challenged institutions.

That were harming him directly.

For co died from complications
related to HIV and aids in 1984.

At a time when the disease
was highly stigmatized.

And politicized.

His death itself was shaped by the
very power structures he exposed.

And Martin Luther king Jr.

Born January 15th, 1929
and died April 4th, 1968.

Embodied truth as nonviolent activism,
justice, and radical demand for equality.

His commitment to truth
was rooted in nonviolence.

A himsa.

Also in love.

And the belief that justice
must be pursued relentlessly.

Well, he is often remembered
for his dream of racial harmony.

His later years were spent speaking
uncomfortable truths about war

capitalism and systemic inequality, his
assassination for standing in his truth.

Proved that even a commitment to peace
and justice is met with violence.

When threatening power structures.

So, what does this mean for us?

Are you having fun yet?

Most of us won't be executed or
imprisoned or assassinated for seeking

the truth, or even speaking the truth.

But there is still a cost.

So I want to talk about truthfulness.

As opposed to truth.

My understanding of truthfulness
comes from the Sanskrit word.

I mentioned it earlier.

Called Satya.

Such as more than just the
truth or more than just honesty.

It is the practice of aligning
our lives with our deepest truth.

Regardless of external expectations.

It is not about rejecting falsehoods.

But about committing to a lifetime
of self examination, integrity.

And authenticity.

At its core.

Sacha is existential in nature.

It forces us to ask ourselves who am I.

What am I.

What do I stand for for whom do I stand
outside of this cultural conditioning?

Outside of my conditioned
response to societal pressure

or the fear that I won't belong.

It challenges us to recognize when we are
living out of alignment with our values

and have the courage to recalibrate.

It's a process of knowing oneself
so deeply that your values are not

something you have to reach for, but
they are embedded into your existence.

And when you find yourself out
of alignment, which we all do.

It's having the courage to
question oneself and recenter.

Truth is not a static thing.

It is something we uncover.

Something we deepen into
and evolve with over time.

What I learned in therapy every day.

Is that truth is not static.

Someone will come.

And tell me something that is
very certain in their mind.

And the next week that
certainty has evolved.

Into something more complete.

And then not certainty is evolved
into something more complete.

Over and over and over.

When we discover that
something we thought was true.

No longer resonates.

It can feel very destabilizing.

And that's okay.

We're humans with consciousness.

We are supposed to change.

That's our job.

We're here to die.

We're here to change.

Practicing Sacha.

Is.

Releasing the pursuit.

Of truth for certainty.

It is practicing.

The presence and awareness
and willingness to grow.

Truthfulness means questioning your
conditioning and truthfulness means

being honest about your wounds.

Healing cannot happen when
we are in denial of reality.

Truthfulness means aligning your
actions with your deepest integrity.

Many people claim to value
honesty, but compromise it daily

for comfort and convenience.

Or approval.

Like I said, most of us are not going to
face execution for standing in our truth.

And living in your truthfulness.

And alignment with who you truly are.

And your deepest values.

Sometimes means losing relationships.

Or necessitating that
relationships change.

Sometimes it means breaking away
from institutions where you shop.

Where you go to yoga.

Where you go to church.

Uh,

practicing truthfulness.

Often involves dismantling
identities that no longer serve us.

But in return.

This alignment.

Offer something invaluable,

So today is Monday, January 20th.

Martin Luther king Jr.

Day.

It is also an aggravation day, a day,
where you're never going to get back.

And the hardest thing about consciousness,
I think is realizing that in the

present we cannot correct the past.

This is where we are.

The philosophers that I spoke
about today knew that truth.

It wasn't just an idea.

But rather a way of being.

So I'm going to leave you with these
questions and I hope you'll sit with them.

I hope you all set with them.

Non-violently and compassionately.

And earnestly.

Where are you out of alignment
with your deepest values?

Where have you been avoiding?

The truth.

Because it is uncomfortable.

Where have you accepted a version of
truth that benefits you, but harms others?

Where have you accepted a version of
truth that benefits others, but harms you.

And what would it mean to live
fully in alignment with your own

integrity, your own deepest values?

What would you lose?

And what could you gain?

What I learned in therapy is that my
truthfulness is what matters to me.

I am not policing anybody's
truthfulness because they will show

me their values by how they act.

And when they show me their values,
by the way they act, I get to choose.

If my values align with theirs, Great.

And if they don't, it is my choice
to turn away without violence.

For my safety.

One of my core values is nonviolence.

And I have to check myself
because listen, Oh Lord.

I had a moment last week where I
wanted to step out of my values

and walk up to someone and just
berate them for wearing a shirt.

That calls into consciousness.

The harm.

Of LGBT.

People.

I was inflamed.

I wanted to call him names.

And harm him.

But one of my best friends in the world,
Mary said, Jamie, remember who you are?

And remember your values.

And so I did, I dropped
in, I did some breathing.

And I remembered one of my core values.

Is compassion.

The man wearing the shirt that
is designed to harm people.

Who have never harmed him.

Is an L man.

He has illness.

And I have deep compassion
for people who are ill.

As we left.

I turned toward him and I wished him well,

And not only did I wish him
well, I wished him into his

wellness because that man is ill.

Knowing yourself so well.

That your values are
embedded in your life.

and your life as an
example of your values.

We'll always be your most
powerful tool in this world.

So write down your values and keep writing
them down and keep questioning them.

And then question them again.

And again, Nonviolently.

Please.

Keep questioning.

Your values.

With nonviolence.

So that you can practice living in Sacha.

Your life is your example.

Thank you for listening.

And I go out there and that big old world
and spray paint it with all of your love.

All of your integrity.

And all of your truthfulness.